I have come to realize that when it comes to my relationship with God, I am controlling! The crazy thing is, I am not a controlling person. I have always been easy going and tend to go along with the flow. Mainly because I am easy to please and would rather maintain common ground. However, I have learned that I struggle with some things spiritually because I haven’t learned to do the same when it comes to my relationship with Him.
My goal for the past few years has been to develop a stronger relationship with God. Lately, I found myself asking God to reveal things to me that I need to change. I wanted to know what I may have been doing, unknowingly, that was blocking my blessings, and what was hindering me from being closer to Him. Well, I recently realized it was my inability to just move and get out of the way! I had to check myself. I looked back on several moments in my life where I struggled the most and desperately reached out to Him in hopes of peace and deliverance. I saw that these were usually moments where I had inadvertently gotten in the way of His work. What would happen is, something happens, I worry, I fear, I get depressed, then I call on Him to ease my pain. Most of the time, I found myself depressed and sad because I had been trying to take matters in my own hands. For instance, I would pray to God for His help and tell myself, I am surrendering it to Him, when honestly, I am not. I call myself patiently waiting to be delivered from whatever it is, but in reality, I hold on to it, not fully trusting God to handle it. I try to control how and when I want to be blessed. I give it over to Him, then I take it back, give it over, take it back. Same cycle over and over, again. Why is that?
It hadn’t dawned on me that I do this, until I recently got a promotion from at my job. Long story short, I felt as though I was overlooked, overworked, and underpaid. I didn’t feel I was being treated fairly and saw other people progressing when I wasn’t. On top of that, I got a new boss that I wasn’t clicking with. There is nothing worse than having a boss that you clash with. After months of being miserable, I knew in order for something to give, I had to stop allowing my feelings to overwhelm me. I knew that if I didn’t give it over to God, it will only hinder my growth. I moved out of the way, and let God have his way. Once I prayed on it, I didn’t take it back and try to tell Him how to do his job. I didn’t place Him in a box and pull him out when I needed. I completely surrendered and took my hand out of it. Result, a promotion. Granted, I complained at times, I was frustrated at times, but I didn’t take it back into my possession, I simply let it go.
I believe, as Christians, we do this a lot. We pray to God about a problem that we have, but we give Him what we think He can handle and hold on to what we think we can handle. The audacity, right? Maybe we want to be in control of how He blesses us or maybe we just don’t fully trust Him to come through. I just want to say this, let it go. Move out the way! You are your hinderance. Don’t trust the same mind that got into your mess to get you out. You have a savior who is willing to take your burdens so why not give them to Him. Psalm 91: 1-3 says, 1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. Look at Him as your friend. The same comfort you find in your friends, the same way you choose to go along with whatever they want to get into it, the same way we confide in friends seeking their advice and expertise should be the same way we feel when we come to God. Know that He has your back and once we surrender to Him, He will keep His promises. There is no need to fret and no reason to take it upon ourselves to try and resolve. Just sit back, relax, and live your life knowing that your cares are casts on one who is the ultimate waymaker!! Be blessed, y’all!
Mommin'. Wife'n. Queenin'. 