Tag: news

Unpopular Opinion: Pageantry Edition

Alesha Shaw

So y’all, I am stuck on pageantry since that has been my life for the past 2 years, LOL!!  Even though I have always been a fan of pageantry, for about 6 years, I had lost interest in it, and didn’t follow too much of it. Even before that, it was always just entertainment and a hobby for me, so I never fully studied it.  However, after re-entering into this world, I began to pay more attention to things to learn and understand more about it.  I learned more about the different systems and different perspectives that people had regarding it.  Each system had its own standards and objectives, and it promoted different things.  What I noticed the most though is how people would begin to adjust who they are to fit certain systems and stereotypes in order to give them a leg up in the competition.  Because of this, what I saw happening is a whole lot of queens, following trends and superstitions, and not necessarily showcasing their best selves, but showcasing another version of the previous winners or becoming Pageant Patties.  If you have to do a lot of adjusting to who you are for a pageant system, that is not the system for you.  You should be able to show up as the queen you are, not the queen you think they want.  Sure, you may need some coaching and guidance, but a coach’s job is to bring out your strengths, help build confidence, and give you constructive criticism to be your best.  Not change who you are.  You know?  Anywho, here are a few unpopular opinions I have after studying some things in pageantry. I am sure some may not agree which is why I say, UNPOPULAR, but I wanted to share them anyway because hey, I am entitled to have my thoughts, right?

  1. NO more Cookie-Cutter Cathy. She is what some may call a Pageant Patty, a stereotypical beauty queen who wants to save the world and have world peace.  I think we are in a day and age, where people want to see genuine queens, who have substance, who are intelligent, but also can be the queen next door.  It is okay to post without makeup, do typical everyday tasks, and not display a picture of perfection.  This shows other young ladies and women, that pageantry can be for anyone, not just those who wake up looking like a glamour queen every day.  It is for women who are involved in the communities, on their jobs, entrepreneurs, mompreneurs, and who are forces to be reckoned with.  Constantly portraying a picture of perfection can be off-putting and disingenuous.  It doesn’t appear relatable, and queens need to be relatable.
  • Pageants are won in interview? I, honestly, don’t think they are.  Sure, they are usually scored higher, but it is not just from conversation.  Do you know why many queens invest so much into headshots?? Because this is the first look the judges have of you.  They see your face and beauty before you even sit down for the interview. Therefore, I strongly feel that it is your headshot that matters, first, AND if you look like your headshot and are well-spoken and intelligent, then it will affect how highly you are scored in other areas of competitions.  Here me out, if my headshot is not the best, but I am well-spoken and do well in my interview, I am still not winning that pageant.  You have to understand pageants have sponsors and many times you are going to be the face and spokesperson for those sponsors, so you have to look appealing to not just the pageant judges but to the sponsors who are investing in whatever system you are competing.  You are representing both.  I have made the mistake of not looking like my headshot during interviews, and I know it negatively impacted me for sure.  In one instance, I was overly made up in my headshot and not as made up in my interview.  The pageant had clearly stated that they wanted a natural-looking headshot, but when I went for the photoshoot…let’s just say the makeup artist just wasn’t the right makeup artist for me, and there was nothing I could do because I didn’t have the funds to get them redone.  On the other, I was overly made up in my interview (on top of that, my foundation shade did not match), and not as made up in my headshot. (The quality of my headshot wasn’t the best either).  Not only did I not score well, but I knew I was overly made up, and it affected my confidence and posture when I was being interviewed.  So, in my opinion, pageants are won by consistency.  Do you look the look? Can you talk the talk?  Can you walk the walk?  You can be the best interviewer in the world and still score high in that area and not walk away with the crown if everything else ain’t matching.  (My last pageant: the interview was only about 2 minutes…ain’t no way anyone won JUST from 2-minutes of responding to questions that weren’t even that deep).
  • White dresses are overrated and played out.   I am so sick of seeing white dresses on a pageant stage. I used to think white looked beautiful, especially on brown-skinned ladies, but now, I am so over it.  I will say this, and I don’t care if feelings are hurt.  If I see one more Mrs. America queen win in a white dress, I am going to scream and swear it is a conspiracy.  (And yes, I competed for the title in a white dress, but I really liked the dress. It was beautiful! However, I had no clue that it was a thing in that system to have a white dress, otherwise, I would have chosen differently—that is why you must do your research).  Here are the reasons I want to ban the white dress:  1) It gets boring to watch.  Really, how many styles of white dresses can we see? 2) If 80% of the contestants are wearing white dresses, the chances of a queen winning with a white dress is going to be higher as well.  So maybe the reason white dresses are winning is because everyone is choosing to wear one, not because they like queens with white dresses, so stop choosing white dresses! If you choose not to wear a white dress, they can’t pick a winner in a white dress!!!! There are sooo many beautiful dresses in so many other colors that would look great on different complexions and beautiful on stage.  Let’s be different. Let’s break the mold. Ok, I got that out of my system. 
  • There should be no talent competition for Ms. or Mrs. pageants.  I am not saying women in this age/category are not talented, but I don’t think it should matter at this point if they can entertain.  When I think of pageants that have talents, they are usually scholarship pageants, meaning, the winner gets some type of scholarship to further their education.  When I think of Ms. or Mrs., I am thinking of someone at least the age of 21 (most are older), who may or may not have kids, but has a job or career, maybe even an LLC or non-profit.   They may be attending college, but most are not.  Does not having a talent take away from your ability to be an impactful and effective queen? I, honestly, don’t think it does.  Most women who compete in the Ms. or Mrs. pageants barely have time to manage a home and their careers, schooling, or business, let alone, practice a talent that will most likely only be used for that competition, unless your talent is your career/side hustle.  I remember practicing my talent for the last pageant I competed in and thinking I had made a mistake in choosing to compete in a pageant that not only required talent but had it as one of the highest scores (probably was a mistake).  It made me question what was really important to the pageant, and if it aligned with the things I thought were important. Yeah, probably should have thought of that before I paid that fee. (You live and you learn)
  • Capes—hummm, these are hit or miss for me.  Quite frankly, I am getting tired of seeing them; only because people are beginning to model them and showcase them in the same ways, which is starting to make it boring, and copycat-ish.  Not all dresses require a flowing cape, and not all people can rock them.  I always thought gowns shouldn’t make the person or the performance.  How confident you appear in the gown is what matters.  I think some ladies are using capes as a crutch. What do I mean by that?  They are showing the cape as if it is a part of the competition, not them in the dress.  So, the mindset, in my opinion, is to look at my beautiful flowing cape, rather than look at how I am rocking this dress. There is a way to walk with the cape, confidently without the cape getting the attention.  I’ve seen queens rock it fiercely, and I have seen some…not so much!  And if you not about to rock, don’t roll it!  Does that make sense? 
  • We need more short-haired queens!! I love to see beautiful women without the typical pageant hair!  Some of my favs are Mrs. International 2023, Rachel Marks…stunning;   Mrs. America 2021, Jackie Blankenship…a beauty, and Ms. Black USA, Kelley Reed…gorgeous!!

That’s it! That’s all!  This is all for entertainment purposes only, and just my opinion.  I am sure nothing will change until something else starts trending and everyone jumps on it.  Until then, I am just going to sit back and continue to live life, LOL!

God Belongs in Pageantry

Alesha Shaw

Lose to Win…Again!

Last week, I shared my experience and thoughts on my previous pageant competition on my podcast, but I also felt like I wanted to share on my blog as well. It is sometimes easier to express myself through writing than through speaking.  It’s been over a month since I competed for the title of Ms. Black USA, and I am barely getting back into somewhat of a normal routine. Switching gears is always hard when you have been working so hard for so long on something.  To add, I turned 40 in July and was also planning a small, little shindig to celebrate with my family, so I had a lot going on.  Anywho, I always have to share my experience each time I compete, and this one is no different. I am going to get straight to it.  What I learned was God belongs in pageantry. Yep, He sure does.  I know many believers compete, and many coaches and programs that are Christian, but I didn’t think much of it until my recent competition. 

I spent much of my prep time seeking God and wanting to make sure that I was grounded in Him. I was convinced that He wanted me in the world of pageantry.  However, I didn’t necessarily want to continue with it.  Because of this, I sought Him to try and get clarity on my why and because I didn’t want to do this half-heartedly.  Also, I wanted my true self to shine (Matthew 5:16).  I didn’t want to walk around with some sort of false confidence that would dwindle once I was around other queens.  I wanted to shine from the inside out.  I wanted it to be obvious that I was a queen not because of my appearance but because of my spirit.  I am a pretty confident person, but when it comes to pageantry, you are amongst women who are just as deserving of winning as you are, so you never want to make room for the devil to seep in and make you feel less than.  Let’s be real, you are purposely subjecting yourself to be judged in comparison to other women based on your looks, intelligence, personality, and impact.  That is tough!

This time, because I had a better understanding of what is expected in pageantry; I was determined to step up my game.  I didn’t really want to be in this world, but I figured if I competed and went through the full process such as making sure I was fit, interview coaching, runway coaching, etc., and it yielded the desired result maybe the desire to be in this world would change.  Actually, the opposite happened.  I ended up sitting here like, God why do you want me to be here if I can’t even be successful in it?  Why do you keep making me look and feel like a fool?  I was reminded of His words to me months before competing which were, “It is not about the win!”  And even though I knew that, I was like, But it would be nice, God.  I mean this is really taking a lot of my time and mental space, the least that could happen is for it to end in my favor, LOL! *eye roll*   

What really took me out was all that I experienced during the actual competition.   My nerves were unusually bad, I was shaking uncontrollably,  and one of the judges didn’t even find it necessary to even watch my gown competition. I mean, the woman didn’t look up once!  That showed me what He wanted me to learn.  “Your worth is not determined by some judges’ scorecards.  Your worth is determined by ME, and who I say you are!!  Sure, having a crown may have its benefits, but if you don’t have Me, you have nothing!!” 

Had I not spent the prior months preparing, spiritually, as well as all the other stuff, this loss could have been a hard blow.  Why? Because I really did work hard and put a lot into it. It is even tougher when you have a family and job to tend to.  I was so proud of myself, and I knew I had the potential to come out on top, so when I didn’t, I could have allowed it to make me question myself and my worth.  But all the affirmations/scriptures I spoke to myself came in handy when I began to feel like a failure.  “I am a masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). My beauty is not determined by my outward appearance but by my meek spirit (1 Peter 3:4).  I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14).  I am a chosen people. A royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9).”  That is why God belongs in pageantry.

You cannot put yourself up to compete amongst beautiful, deserving women if your identity is not rooted in Him.  Imagine the mental exercises that go on in your head during pageant week, as you meet the others vying for the same title.  Now add, not knowing who you are, insecurities, negative self-talk, lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, and not implanting God anywhere in the equation.  Also, imagine being confident and prepared while still walking away and not reaching the intended goal.  You have to be ok with that. There is nothing more beautiful in pageantry than losing with grace and knowing that you are not broken because of it but understanding it was just not in God’s plan or your time.

It’s ministry.  Many women enjoy pageantry.  But many women are not prepared for all that comes with it.  It is not just about being pretty and modeling swimsuits and gowns.  It’s about showcasing your best self, and yourself is not at its best if you are not seeking God and seeing yourself through His eyes.  Although God and I had our moments during this time, and I questioned why in the world He wants me here if I feel so inadequate, I know that it is to remind me of where my validation comes from.  My feelings of inadequacy keep me relying on Him.  And maybe….just maybe… my journey inspires others to not only seek pageantry but to seek God while seeking pageantry.   Be blessed!!!