A closed mouth won’t get fed!

A closed mouth doesn’t get fed!!! Someone just said that to me, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. See, I was on my weekly prayer call, and we were giving praise reports.  As I was giving my praise report, I mentioned how there was an opportunity that arose for me, but I didn’t have the finances to pursue it.  Desperate, I filled my heart with faith and prayed for some kind of financial blessing. Side note: although I am Christian, raised in the church, I often take for granted my faith and only seek God in crisis. I am working on that!! Moving on, later, I was mentioning to my mother the opportunity, not seeking or expecting financial help, but just sharing with her.  Well, low and behold, without hesitation, she offered me the money I needed to pursue the opportunity. Look at God!

So shortly after sharing this with my prayer sisters, one of the ladies mentioned, “Alesha, a closed mouth don’t get fed!” She went on to explain that you never know how God can/will bless you if you don’t open your mouth and let your request be known.  It was like a lightbulb went off.  (I mean I have heard the saying before but if you are like me, some things just don’t hit home until you are in it!!)  For some reason, I took on this notion that I can handle everything all by myself.  I will run myself to the ground trying to do and be everything and will not open my mouth and say, “I need help!”  I don’t know who told me I had to be superwoman, but they lied.  Doesn’t the good book say you have not because you ask not?  I think somewhere along the line, I felt that asking for help would make me look and feel inadequate. I had this distorted picture of what strong and capable looked like.  Strong looked like superwoman, a woman who does it all on her own.  While trying to find the root of that, I have come up with the reality that asking for help not only makes me feel as if I am not enough, but it also let’s people into my life in a way that I am not used to. Like I have said before, I am an introvert.  I can be very quiet and awkward if I don’t know you well and you are not a part of my family or “inner circle.”  Sometimes having to ask for help would mean reaching out to those who may not be a part of that circle.  When seeking help, especially through prayer, there is a possibility that God will bring people who look nothing like what I am used to. That can be anyone.  I always felt like asking for help will open up the door for friendships or relationships, I am not ready for.  Crazy, huh?  I am realizing how off my thinking is.   In her statement to me, I learned that I have possibly stopped myself from being blessed on many occasions just because I did not open my mouth and say something. 

Self-reflecting, I noticed this has been an unhealthy pattern of mine.  I rarely ask for any help, not just financially, but help in general. I think of all the times I have been offered help with my children, tasks on my job, or even when someone suggests I talk to someone who can help me with important matters, I decline or say I will and then talk myself out of it.  Why? Deep down, I think I don’t believe I am worthy of the help or I question the intentions. There were times where I did swallow my pride and ask for help, but it either didn’t go as I planned or again, I didn’t follow through with the help I requested.  Wow, what a hinderance I have put on my life.  That is why I am truly thankful that I am able to now recognize this and I promise you, I will make every intention to change.

There are plenty of benefits and blessings that come from simply asking for help.  Especially if you are a wife and mother. Listen, these little rugrats can run me ragged, you hear me? I love them to death, and they are my mini queens, but if I am being honest, it takes a lot of energy to parent and rear children.  They are inquisitive, energetic, loud, emotional, dramatic (at least mine are), and require a lot of attention.  It requires a lot to be a wife as well.  It is important to be as attentive and supportive of your spouse as well because they need you too.  Unfortunately for me, I live on the east coast and all my close family live in the south, so it is just the hubs and me.  Sure, we have friends, but for the most part, I have my children majority of the time.  So wife’n and momm’n can be a lot, and if you aren’t careful you will get lost in it.  It can drain you and then you become a person you don’t recognized. Trust me, I know!! I have come to the realization that asking for help keeps you sane and gives you time for other things, especially important things like caring for yourself because don’t nobody want a tired, irritated wife or momma (and yes, I know that was not proper English, but child, I had to say it like I felt it). I am ready to open my mouth and be fed because honestly, my mental health depends on it at this moment. 

Even if you are not yet a wife or a mother, you have to make sure that your mind and body are healthy and strong.  If you put this “superwoman” expectation on yourself, it is grounds for burnout and even some type of breakdown. Truth of the matter is we do not have to do it all.  Ask for help, let people bless you because you may be blocking their blessing by not letting them bless you….well, ain’t that an epiphany?! I’ll say that again, let people bless you! It is a blessing to them to bless you!

Tell me, am I the only one who has suffered from this?  How are you planning to overcome this because giiiirlll, I am tired of blocking my blessings! What about you?  I know for sure that I am going to start making a conscience decision to ask for help! It is a life and death situation. If we continue to think that we have to bear it all, we will slowly die, whether it be mentally, emotionally, or even physically. Stress is a silent killer and many times it can be alleviated if we just open our mouths and allow ourselves to be fed!! Be blessed, y’all!

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