So, I participated in Self-Love Week with the ladies and fellow authors of the I am More than Enough Anthology. Each night was a night of empowerment and uplifting. My topic was on overcoming perfection. I felt the need to share to my blog in hopes of helping someone. I wanted to talk to you about how I had to get over the need to be perfect for God to start moving in my life.
So, years ago, 7 years to be exact, I wanted to start a blog and be some type of a “content creator.” I started a little starter blog to get my juices flowing, but I just felt like I didn’t really have the knowledge of what or how to do it nor did I have “everything I needed” to do it. I didn’t have any cute pictures, or expensive camera, the situation wasn’t right, and then I was just like no one is going to read my stuff. No one really cares. I am not the type of person someone is going to support or find interesting. I was a new mom, trying to balance mommy life, so I told myself, this is not the right timing. I kept waiting for the perfect moment and opportunity that make launching a blog more successful.
In waiting for the perfect time, I wasted a good 7 years that I could have been in this thing!! So a few years ago I joined a prayer circle with some incredible women of God, and last year we discussed things we desired and wanted to work towards. I mentioned to them that I wanted to start a blog and that is where my heart was. Well, several months went by and I still had no blog. One of my prayer sisters was like, “Girl, you’ve been talking about this blog thing and still haven’t done it. I am going to hold you accountable!!”
Needless to say, that was the best thing she could do for me. She was the fire needed to get it done. That and Melissa Fredericks aka MrsKevOnstage whose book club also inspire me to the take “The Big Leap!” I got some pictures done. I set a date I wanted to be done by and started to work on the site. Again, I started to get discouraged because I couldn’t figure out how to create the site or make it look like others that were nicer. I do not have a creative mind, so I was drawing a blank of what exactly I wanted the site to look like, but I knew what I had wasn’t the look I wanted (rolls eyes at my need to criticize myself).
I started noticing how this need to be perfect was holding me back. I was encouraged to write it down so I could get to the root of it and heal from it. So as things popped in my head, I wrote it down. I said to myself, this could be my first post for my blog, at least I will have something to start with. But as things came to my head, I started writing more and more. Then, I started to realize this is going to be more than one post, maybe 2 or 3. Which made me feel good because I figured I would have something to start with.
Anyways, I had hopes of these writings being my first few posts. Well low and behold, I see a post by Dr. Tamika Hall on facebook looking for women to be a part of this anthology. I, first, sent it to a friend who was interesting in writing as well, then I decided to look into it for myself. I wasn’t sure where it was going to go but I went for it. Then something said, “Alesha, use what you have been writing about for the anthology!! This was/is your struggle. You think everything has to be perfect. What you wrote can help someone who may be experiencing the same thing.”
When I tell you God works in mysterious ways…Lawd!!!! I realized that that is why he placed it on my heart to write my experiences down because he knew the opportunity was going to rise. I had to let go of the idea that things need to be perfect and just step out and trust the process. In order for me to recognize and heal from it, he told me to write it down. And look what He did! He made this experience a chapter in a book!! Had I kept waiting for the perfect moment, it would have probably been another 7 years passing by and me, sitting here looking crazy!!
So, my encouragement to you is, stop waiting for the perfect moment, there is no perfect moment. There is the moment that you step out on faith, once you do that, and do the work, everything will fall into place. Oftentimes, we, as women, we set unrealistic expectations on ourselves and become disappointed in ourselves when they are not met! Perfection is such a toxic disease. I remember reading somewhere that it is an effect of trauma. We try to overcompensate for things we cannot control or want control over. It leads to avoiding things because you are terrified of the consequences of it failing. Stop doing that!!! At the end of the day, God wants us to live freely and trust Him to guide us along the way. Besides, if we were perfect, we wouldn’t need him, right? Do yourself a favor, relax, and just do it, even if it’s not perfect. He will take care of the rest! Be blessed.
….In the meantime, please feel free to purchase the I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH ANTHOLOGY to hear more of my story!! Click the “shop” tab on the menu to purchase!!!…