Momming and Queening: 5 Tips for Self-Care

Last week, I posted about not losing yourself in motherhood.  This week I thought it would be cool to give 5 simple ways to get a little self -care in.  Sometimes we tell ourselves that we cannot get in self-care because we are so busy, but I encourage you to take advantage of any opening you may have to get yourself together.  When I am feeling overwhelmed or as if I haven’t poured enough into myself, here are few small things that give me a pick me up.

  1. MUSIC! MUSIC! MUSIC! —  I LOVE music. It just does something to my soul.  I will have a certain song on repeat and will dance until I can’t dance anymore, and it makes me feel so happy.  It energizes me and changes my whole mood.  Here is the secret though:  You must always play a tune that is going to give you the opposite of what you are feeling.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, sad, depressed, tired, the idea is to play something that is going to change that feeling.  Where we go wrong is, we tend to play songs that will amplify our feelings and not change them.  Refrain from putting on slow, sad songs if you are feeling overwhelmed. Instead, put on some Michael Jackson (never fails for me, but of course you can play whatever lifts you up) or some Gospel (Lawd knows nothing can uplift you like a good old gospel song).
  2. Watch a good movie – A good movie always makes me feel good. Particularly, movies I used to watch growing up.  Some of my favorite “old school” movies to watch are B.A.P.S, Pretty Woman, anything with a black cast from the 90s, Pretty in Pink, and Karate Kid (The original one).  I don’t know what it is about those 80s and 90s movies, but they just make me happy.
  3. Journal – I have found that getting my thoughts out on paper have helped tremendously when I feel like I am NOT at my best.  Sometimes I jot down my thoughts, but most times, I jot down my desires and prayers to God.  It just makes it easier to organize my thoughts and feelings without them swimming around in my head. Gratitude journals are great, but also writing down legit things that make you sad can be helpful as well because it can help you to problem solve and challenge your thinking towards that particular thing. For example, if constantly cleaning up behind your family can make you a Debbie Downer, think of ways to lessen the stress. For me, it is limiting my girls to one play area and creating a game to make cleaning more fun to get them to participate and not allow it to all fall on me (or the hubs).
  4. Read – I know reading is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it can be really relaxing and not to mention enlightening.  I have set a goal to read at least a book a month, and I must say, I have been pretty good at achieving this.  My selections are mostly self-help, spiritual books, but I also have thrown in some fiction to give me a good laugh or feel good feeling.  I apply the same rule of music to reading, always read something that is going to change your mood for the good. If you are feeling low about yourself, gravitate towards uplifting, powerful books. I recommend, Woman Evolve by Sarah Jakes Roberts.
  5. Last but not least, speak life into yourself.  I read this quote that said, “if speaking kindly to plants help them grow, imagine what it would do to humans!” Are you speaking life?  Be mindful of the words you speak over yourself (and your family). I am truly a believer of, death and life are in the power of the tongue, Proverbs 18:21. You will be amazed at how your atmosphere shifts just by what you speak.  Affirmations may seem uncomfortable and weird but trust me when I say, it works.  Think of how your children and loved ones feel when you say something nice to them. See how their face glows and their posture straightens up.  Imagine what happens to your brain when you speak life to yourself.  Go ahead, try it, and let me know what happens!

Sure, there are more things to do for self-care, but I thought this was simple enough to start with. Self-care is what you make it.  Anything that you can do that puts a smile on your face is self-care.  It can be sitting in the yard soaking up the sun, taking a walk around the block, rolling up in a blanket like a taco (I do that sometimes), or even just sitting in silence after the family is sleeping.  Whatever works for you, indulge!! You deserve it momma!! Be Blessed Y’all.

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